Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Debate Considered

This is my 50th post, and what better way to celebrate than with a debate.

Point - I, as a single guy, hate when girls wear a ring on their wedding ring finger. I guess I can't tell between married girls and single girls if it's a diamond, but that's the genesis of the problem. There is a rule for noble men that says that you don't think about dating girls with a ring on this finger. That makes sense, right? Well, then, girls need to stop wearing anything on this finger unless they are engaged or married. There is a girl on the bus that I'd like to talk to, but she wears a black stone on this finger. Is she engaged? Is she poor? I have no idea. All because of this ring, I feel like I shouldn't talk to her. What if they are some weird couple that doesn't believe in diamonds and wears something different? How would I know that I'm violating the man code? I wouldn't, and that's a problem.

Counterpoint - Jaime argues that there are lots of creepy guys out there. Girls wear a ring on that finger to keep the creeps away.

Point - I say no. Creepy guys are more likely to not be worried if you are engaged or married. You need to keep that finger bare so the good guys know if you are available!

Counterpoint - I don't know what she would say to that.

Analysis - I am right.

9 comments:

WeddObsessed said...

I understand your frustration, but you must realize a few things:

1- Rings on that finger don't always mean a girl is taken, and as of late, many celebs and normal women alike wear rings on that finger just for the sake of fashion....

2- Fake engagement rings serve many purposes--they DO keep creepsters away. I promise this! And have several friends who will say the same thing. Now I don't think a single girl should ALWAYS wear one, but if she is perhaps working a job (waitress, bartender, whatev) where she'd be in contact with lots of potential creepsters, then there you go, or going out for girls night and doesn't want to deal with a men, or is legitimately NOT looking for a relationship--those are some valid reasons. But I don't know any women who always wear that ring on that finger with the intent purpose of chasing normal and wonderful men (like you) away.

Perhaps use the ring as a conversation starter?? Say "I like your ring"--normally when a woman is complimented, she'll offer a source "Thanks, I got it from _______". In the case of the bus romance, she'd probably say "Thanks, it was a gift from my mom"-esp. since it's black. Black is onyx, which is really a inexpensive stone, and IF that is her engagement ring, you should steal her away from her fiance who is clearly undeserving!

WeddObsessed said...

PS- I did not mean that bc onyx is inexpensive her fiance is undeserving--I just meant that if it's meant to be with you and her, you should sweep her off her feet anyways!

Patty said...

Just talk to her, already!!!

HB said...

Well, I have noticed that a lot of divorced women will wear a funny ring on their wedding ring finger. Also, I have known women to wear a ring on that finger just for the drama. I think if a woman wants to send a clear signal that she is available, she wears no ring on that finger. If your bus-riding lady friend wears it every day, it might just be her favorite ring. And I like Jaime's suggestion about complimenting her on it. I think it would work. Personally, I think that a black stone for an engagement ring would be kind of odd, but that's just me. I think you should go for it and just talk to her. Sometimes if you wait too long it just gets weird.

Shari said...

Jaime is right. Fake rings do keep most creeps away. You will always have a loser or two who won't be deterred by a wedding ring, but they are few and far between.

If you like that girl, TALK TO HER! I agree again with Jaime. Use that ring to start a conversation. And good luck!

Charissa said...

Seriously talk to her! you could even comment on the ring and ask what kind of stone it is and maybe she'd tell you if it is a weird engagement ring. But definitely talk to her.

Josh said...

OK, I guess what I forgot to mention is that she is the White Whale to my Ahab (Moby Dick reference). I have now woken up and gotten on the 7:27 bus four days in a row (I don't work until 9) and she hasn't been on the bus. All I know is where she gets on/off the bus on Mt Washington and where she works. If she doesn't get on the bus...well, I'm not going to stake out her workplace or her street. That seems like a bad idea.

Carla said...

ok i totally have to say jaime is right. i would be one of those girls who tosses my ring on the left ring finger when i dont want to be bothered. for the most part guys leave me alone, but the big creepers dont care. so it only helps once and awhile. also when the hands are swollen, they go on any finger they can fit. sorry. listen to the girls.

Shari said...

Oh, and just so we're being fair here, women aren't the only ones that can be annoying with this. You know what I hate? Married men who refuse to wear a wedding band. Now that is just wrong.